If you want to be trusted, you have to be honest

Nov 14, 2021

They say doubt kills more dreams and hopes than failure. Having been there myself not so long ago, I truly understand how our brain creates this fail-safe to protect us against the possibility of failure. It’s called constantly being in survival mode. In turn, it causes fear that leads to indecision and that leads to “I’m not going to do it”. It’s the overthinking hamster wheel and it’s a rut that gets us stuck.

I really see some version of myself in my clients. 

A prospective client was so fearful of quitting her job, not because she can’t find another job, but because she required a sense of security and safety to do so. I asked her “What happens if you continue in this job for another year and lose even more of yourself?” The fear paralyzed her in making a decision. Fear is normal, it is always going to be there, that is just life. 

We worked on reframing how she looked at things. A shift in mindset as I’d like to call “positive focus”. What are the stories she is telling herself? What does she stand to gain if she starts taking a tiny step toward her next adventure? What’s the possibility of her finding something that she wants to do and be fulfilled that will make her want to wake up in the morning vs. staying and continue to be miserable because it creates security? 

After 30 mins, the client wanted a guarantee that if we partner that I can get her the results. I said that there are no guarantees in life, only death, and taxes, but I will guarantee that as your champion and accountability buddy that I will show up to every session keeping you in a positive frame and making sure you focus on possibilities and not problems. 

I asked her what is she investing in? She said in her future, to get a new job, to live her dream of becoming this “xxx”. I told her to take time before she commits. I did this because I want my clients to be fully onboard and not do it out of desperation, but out of inspiration and seeing possibilities.

I asked her to remember my agreements when I take on new clients.

  • Push past the fear and commit to taking action based on newly discovered insights in our sessions.
  • Willing to commit 100% for yourself because nobody is coming to rescue you.
  • Delineate between what is fact and what is the telenovela you are creating in order to prevent yourself from moving forward. 
  • Celebrate gains for every step taken towards the goal, even if it is half a step…progress is progress. Reward oneself! ( I’m going to have some vegan ice-cream now as my reward writing my first article for my business on LinkedIn)

I am ok if we do not form an agreement. If a client can’t take responsibility for their own goals, it isn’t my job as a coach to convince them. I’m only there to support them once they can commit and want to live an extraordinary life.

When she is ready, she will know. I’ll be here creating that safe conscious space for her to unlock her fear and move towards her dreams.


Your Chief Curious Coach